Pre-orders went up a few weeks ago for what will be the “WTF Record of the year.” The band that brought skinny kids in peacoats and punk rockers in sleeveless shirts together, Fucked Up, got festive and decided to release a seven inch record entitled David Christmas. With a street date listed for December 24, some of you may have already received it. Unfortunately, I didn’t pre-order. So, what’s the big deal about this record? Look at the “special guests”: James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem), Cole (Black Lips), Davey Havok (AFI), Kevin Peterson (What’s Your Rupture?), Faris Rotter (The Horrors), Mike Fellows (Rites Of Spring), Matt Sweeney (Chavez/ Zwan), Dave One (Chromeo), Jacob Thiele (The Faint), Morag and Ursula, Jay Reatard, Dan Romano (Attack In Black), Trevor Keith (Face To Face), Jason Green (Panthers/ Orchid), Jerry A. (Poison Idea), Shenae Grimes (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Scott Vogel (Terror) and Nelly Furtado. Allegedly, it’s not a joke either. Someone sell me this record, please!

Since we’re on Christmas talk, I’m not a big fan of “traditional” holiday songs that litter my mother’s radio in the kitchen this time of year. So a few years ago, I compiled a bunch of songs that are probably just as obnoxious. So read the tracklisting and proceed with caution if you feel like downloading it:

1. Bob and Doug McKenzie - 12 Days of Christmas
(Remember reruns of SCTV? If you don’t, research! I don’t know what else to say about this selection though, other than it being totally insane as far as delivery goes.)

2. Stiff Little Fingers - White Christmas
(The Belfast based punk band released two of the best records of the 2nd wave. This is their off-key version of a “classic.”)

3. The Damned - There Ain’t No Sanity Clause
(Allegedly lifted from a Groucho Marx line. Genius.)

4. The Dickies - Silent Night
(Best known for warped cover versions, and were probably punk rock’s first cover band. This version simply rocks. It makes the midnight mass run in disgust.)

5. Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band - Xmas At K-Mart
(Locals might remember Root Boy Slim’s “Party ‘Til You Puke” being played on 96X every Friday afternoon over ten years ago. Once again, another song to make you go, “What the hell was that?”)

6. El Vez - Feliz Navi Nada
(El Vez spent time in the old L.A. punk band, the Zeros. I give you praise if you know where the intro comes from.)

7. Mojo Nixon - Christmas, Christmas
(Mojo Nixon is great. Here, he turns “Louie, Louie” into a Christmas song. He could’ve been as big as Weird Al.)

8. Pansy Division - Homo Christmas
(The kings of homo-core, as the press referred to them in the mid-1990s. “Don’t be miserable like Morrissey, let me do you under the Christmas tree.” Great line.)

9. Bouncing Souls/Weston - Do They Know It’s Christmas?
(Released on a split seven inch between the two NJ punk bands in 1994.)

10. XTC - Thanks For Christmas
(I really like Skylarking, and this song is the closest thing to easy listening for your parents, but it’s XTC! Brings a smile to my face.)

11. Cocteau Twins - Frosty the Snowman
(Holy….)

12. Cocteau Twins - Winter Wonderland
(…Shit! The Cocteau Twins are amazing and so are their two dream-pop renditions of these kid-friendly holiday songs.)

13. The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
(Hey, some people think this is the best song…like ever. Supposedly this was the best selling Christmas single ever in the U.K. for a long time. I’m a fan.)

Download the compilation here: http://www.mediafire.com/?5gzsm0v1kdk. Forgive me for being stuck in 1996 due to the .wma format. Missing from this compilation is David Bowie/Bing Crosby’s collaboration, Vince Guaraldi’s soundtrack for the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and Fear’s “Fuck Christmas.” Find those and you’ll have a pretty decent time.

Well, Merry Christmas! Silk Nog rules all.

*taken from the song, “Hidden World,” by Fucked Up.

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