Why wont my phoenix rise from the ashes?
< author: david >
So my phone is not receiving calls or text messages due to a “phoenix switch failure” and I can only hope that Tmobile paratroopers have descended upon the “phoenix tower” with protractors and miniature computers while they yell code and flank down power lines. I think every occupation should have a medal for valor. Cannot it all be epic? Oh my phone of mobility, how quiet you are! I could not help but to address my dismay over such attachment to this wireless phenemenom. I did not want a cell phone to start but I will say when society has accepted the use of such a thing and you are actively involved with society it becomes quite difficult to remain deviceless. So I got one, the Samsung R225m, it was beautiful and it was free. We didn’t do nearly as much as I thought we would together. I made some calls, spoke to my mother more frquently, and thoroughly enjoyed conversations that were cut short due to a glitch in the matrix, only to be resounded with a callback “What happened? | I don’t know. | Did you press any buttons? | No, it just cutoff. | Man, that was weird!” They always say that was weird! Why? Shit that happens all the time is the opposite of weird. It’s like when there is a thunderstorm and the power goes out for a half minute [30 sec] and someone always says “whoa, that was weird.” No you are weird, aka the weird-O. Weirdo, a fabulous noun stemmed from adjective, is me descibing you. Anyhow I had to step up the phone to an email phone because so many people were emailing the record store going unresponded and I decided that was not cool. Not cool I said! Tmobile what plan best suits my needs I said. How would you like to see increased revenue for your business at no extra cost to you? I’m just kidding, they didn’t say that. They just put a blackberry in my hand, patted me on the ass, and told me to get out there and be somebody. I have been with Tmobile for 2 1/2 years now and it’s that pat on the ass that keeps me a loyal customer. Below I have listed some things that make Relative Theory smile. Consider each one a digital ass pat from your favorite Relatives.
1. We got a promo for the Dios Malos full length and it reminds me of when I was a kid and during the winter we only used a woodburing stove to heat the house or should I say to heat the room in which was the woodburing stove. My winter joy was to put pants in the dryer and give them a 5 minute charge. HOT PANTS! and that is the comfort of Dios Malos. Be on the lookout for its release 10.11.05
2. Sigur Ros drops Tuesday and I must say it nothing less than you would expect as a fan. This one is in Icelandic and has six [6] tracks that move my neck hairs sway like feilds of wheat. $16.98 - redeem some points on your Relative Card and make it as cheap as Best Buy. What a novel idea.
3. The new Director’s Label series drops this week and the names might be lesser known to you but their work is sure to be recognizeable. We will have them all here at Relative in either a whole box set or each separately so be sure stop by and check out our new Touch Taste and See section. Ha! kidding, we don’t have a new section. Damn you people are so gullible.
4. We received in the mail a medley cut from the band Early Man and it is quite fantastical! Mission operandi: Party down and slay the weak! We will not post this song as it is possible to get in trouble or something but you can come in and listen to it on your next visit.
5. New Blackalicious entitled The Craft coming out on ANTI is quite the refresher. These guys always make me feel good to sell some hip hop. It is quite nice to have a record stay with you and influence your thought and opinions rather than make you feel like and idiot who obsesses over girls and weed. Girls and weed are nice but damn son!
6. Iron and Wine/Calexico together on a single sided compact disc with EP length and muted trumpets! There are some familiar tunes here to the downloading community and now you can enjoy beautiful artwork. Oh the tangible gift. I look at that burned cd and it is oh so ugly, please can I trade the fruit of my labor for this more beautiful one? Why yes you can and tell your mother fresh squeezed lemonade will treat Crystal Light’s ass for a one way ticket to the back of the pantry. Boo YAka SHa!
7. I just want to say that Sept. and Oct. are going to kill us with all the new music coming out. Our next mix will be entitled “The Dead Relatives” so be sure to come on in and sit a spell as I am about to eat a delicious new music sandwich!