It’s been so long since I posted here, I basically forgot how to do it. We’ll make it through. Starting small, I thought I’d mention a few of the re-issues I was fortunate enough to stumble upon in this blog’s hiatus.

It was always one of the great pleasures when Relative Theory was open to dig through the old stuff brought to light by great labels like Light in the Attic, Soul Jazz, and Numero Group. Since the store closed, I’ve mostly fallen out of touch with this stuff, but I managed to find a few new old things.

“Harmonia live 1974″ is an amazing document of a forgotten krautrock supergroup. Harmonia was the two guys in Cluster with a guitarist from Can. Mainly, these are ten minute plus instrumentals that create an amazing musical headspace that chugs along with a steady motorik pace, almost imperceptively changing and shifting. You can hear how these guys were a big influence on Brian Eno, who wildly praised them and sort of joined them for a little while in the mid-70s. A year or two after that, Eno “invented” ambient music, but this proves he didn’t get it from out of nowhere. He got it from Germany.

Pylon was a band I had never heard of. In fact, I snagged a promo just from the name and the fact that DFA Records was putting out their album. I haven’t heard a bad DFA release yet, and I figured maybe Pylon was some raucous modern techno or some EBM vs. Brooklyn unholy entity. Turns out they’re the unsung heroes of Athens, GA in the early 80s, the band everybody loved that never broke through like REM or the B 52s. In any case, DFA’s first time on CD release of “Gyrate Plus” reveals Pylon to be a fierce, rhythmic combo that could easily battle the top UK post-punk outfits like the Pop Group and Gang of Four and wouldn’t be out of place with the NYC No Wave freaks like DNA or ESG. Amazing rock and roll to shake your ass to.

Like I said, I’ve missed alot since the store closed. I’ve heard amazing things about “Brazil 70″, a sort of sequel to the epic “Tropicalia” compilation on Soul Jazz. What about you? Any treasures from the past you want to put some shine on?

Pre-orders went up a few weeks ago for what will be the “WTF Record of the year.” The band that brought skinny kids in peacoats and punk rockers in sleeveless shirts together, Fucked Up, got festive and decided to release a seven inch record entitled David Christmas. With a street date listed for December 24, some of you may have already received it. Unfortunately, I didn’t pre-order. So, what’s the big deal about this record? Look at the “special guests”: James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem), Cole (Black Lips), Davey Havok (AFI), Kevin Peterson (What’s Your Rupture?), Faris Rotter (The Horrors), Mike Fellows (Rites Of Spring), Matt Sweeney (Chavez/ Zwan), Dave One (Chromeo), Jacob Thiele (The Faint), Morag and Ursula, Jay Reatard, Dan Romano (Attack In Black), Trevor Keith (Face To Face), Jason Green (Panthers/ Orchid), Jerry A. (Poison Idea), Shenae Grimes (Degrassi: The Next Generation), Scott Vogel (Terror) and Nelly Furtado. Allegedly, it’s not a joke either. Someone sell me this record, please!

Since we’re on Christmas talk, I’m not a big fan of “traditional” holiday songs that litter my mother’s radio in the kitchen this time of year. So a few years ago, I compiled a bunch of songs that are probably just as obnoxious. So read the tracklisting and proceed with caution if you feel like downloading it:

1. Bob and Doug McKenzie - 12 Days of Christmas
(Remember reruns of SCTV? If you don’t, research! I don’t know what else to say about this selection though, other than it being totally insane as far as delivery goes.)

2. Stiff Little Fingers - White Christmas
(The Belfast based punk band released two of the best records of the 2nd wave. This is their off-key version of a “classic.”)

3. The Damned - There Ain’t No Sanity Clause
(Allegedly lifted from a Groucho Marx line. Genius.)

4. The Dickies - Silent Night
(Best known for warped cover versions, and were probably punk rock’s first cover band. This version simply rocks. It makes the midnight mass run in disgust.)

5. Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band - Xmas At K-Mart
(Locals might remember Root Boy Slim’s “Party ‘Til You Puke” being played on 96X every Friday afternoon over ten years ago. Once again, another song to make you go, “What the hell was that?”)

6. El Vez - Feliz Navi Nada
(El Vez spent time in the old L.A. punk band, the Zeros. I give you praise if you know where the intro comes from.)

7. Mojo Nixon - Christmas, Christmas
(Mojo Nixon is great. Here, he turns “Louie, Louie” into a Christmas song. He could’ve been as big as Weird Al.)

8. Pansy Division - Homo Christmas
(The kings of homo-core, as the press referred to them in the mid-1990s. “Don’t be miserable like Morrissey, let me do you under the Christmas tree.” Great line.)

9. Bouncing Souls/Weston - Do They Know It’s Christmas?
(Released on a split seven inch between the two NJ punk bands in 1994.)

10. XTC - Thanks For Christmas
(I really like Skylarking, and this song is the closest thing to easy listening for your parents, but it’s XTC! Brings a smile to my face.)

11. Cocteau Twins - Frosty the Snowman
(Holy….)

12. Cocteau Twins - Winter Wonderland
(…Shit! The Cocteau Twins are amazing and so are their two dream-pop renditions of these kid-friendly holiday songs.)

13. The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
(Hey, some people think this is the best song…like ever. Supposedly this was the best selling Christmas single ever in the U.K. for a long time. I’m a fan.)

Download the compilation here: http://www.mediafire.com/?5gzsm0v1kdk. Forgive me for being stuck in 1996 due to the .wma format. Missing from this compilation is David Bowie/Bing Crosby’s collaboration, Vince Guaraldi’s soundtrack for the Charlie Brown Christmas special, and Fear’s “Fuck Christmas.” Find those and you’ll have a pretty decent time.

Well, Merry Christmas! Silk Nog rules all.

*taken from the song, “Hidden World,” by Fucked Up.

Well, the store has been closed for a while. The last night of business was on June 29th. I started working here in early August of 2006. I wished that I would’ve been able to celebrate a year of working there, but unfortunately, it didn’t happen. Being a former employee who still has dreams about putting records away and changing light bulbs in the store, I figured it might be a nice way to cope by making a post on this site to the five people that stop by every now and then hoping there will be an update on anything.

So if you’re curious to read what I, and possibly other people think about, in regards to music and anything else, feel free to stop by.

Remember Grime? When we all loved that “Run the Road” comp on Vice Records because Vice Magazine told us to? I know, its like, so 2005. Here’s what I remember: it was really good. And it turns out UK crunk didn’t die after Lady Sov’s underwhelming (but better than it gets credit for) Def Jam debut. Scene superstar Dizzee Rascal is releasing his third album, “Maths and English”, and it is reported to have more of an American hip hop flavor than his earlier work. Meanwhile, scene svengali Wiley, the deepest of rollers, at least onetime possessor of beef with everybody grime related, is dropping “Playtime is Over”. Fortunately, this is not a Highlander scenario, and there can be more than one. I’m excited about both of these albums, and that’s okay.

External Links
Dizzee Rascal
Dizzee Rascal Myspace
Wiley Myspace
XL Records
Big Dada Records
Ninja Tune Records

click image to enlarge

Come out tomorrow evening as we drop a tea bag of talent in boiling hot Relative. We have plenty of folks on hand to teach people about HIV and how to go about getting tested. This issue is very important to a lot of people closely associated with RTR and we want you to know how aware you must be in this modern culture. This is the last event to be held in Relative, come out to learn and enjoy.

Tuesday brings the long awaited release of a new Pharoahe Monch album, “Desire”. Pharoahe Monch, despite his troubles getting an awful lot of material released, both solo and as half of the groundbreaking Organized Konfusion in the 90s, is on the short list of emcees who are not Ghostface that I’ve seriously pondered the possibility of actually possessing the “greatest rapper alive” title Jay-Z is so fond of granting himself. He has maybe the best delivery of anybody out there, and a mindbending sense of lyricism (they’ll bury him with his SP-1200, fuck infinite, enseminate the earth now, take its virginity). Sean Combs was woefully unable to handle the lines he recently hired Pharoahe Monch to ghostwrite for him. If Pharoahe Monch was white, he would have been more popular and successful than Eminem. But he’s not.

External Links
Pharoahe Monch
Pharoahe Monch Myspace

image from Beirut’s Website

For those of you who are unaware (we’re a day or so late announcing this), young Zach Condon (19? 20? Help me out) who brought us heartfelt Balkan pop with 2006’s Gulag Orkestar, and then grabbed an 8 piece back up band to make one of the year’s best E.P.s Lon Gisland has finished up a new full length and felt ready to talk about it. Though still not titled, it is to be a work less Eastern European and more Western European, classical pop music which serves “more a love letter to French Culture.” The eight piece that blasted through Lon Gisland return alongside Zach on this record, and Arcade Fire’s Owen Pallett (aka Final Fantasy, aka one of the best records of 2006) adds string arrangements and backing vocals as well. Lon Gisland was a great demonstration of Zach’s technical and songwriting growth beyond his young and rough creativity, and with any luck we’ll see that move even further on October 9th when the LP drops on Ba Da Bing!

I am glad to hear he’s not going to rest on blaring Balkan trumpets his whole career.

Fall Tour Dates in the Comments.

External Links
Beirut’s Website
Beirut’s Myspace
Ba Da Bing!’s Website

July brings a release I know Krystle and I have been waiting for nearly a year now. The Knife’s “Silent Shout” was my number 4 best album of 2006. Of releases last year, that and Scott Walker’s “The Drift” are still routinely on my playlists and in an uncanny, terrifying place in my heart. Sure, they creep me out, but in such a good way I love them like brothers who just may be killing those children on the tundra if its not the Wendego. On the seventeenth (and they really should break industry tradition and put it out four days earlier, because this is the kind of release that deserves a Friday the 13th) Mute Records brings “Silent Shout - Deluxe Edition” to North America. It is rare that an album is so great and bottomless that it can get away with the DVD trick of making us buy it again because of new special features. But, man, what special features! The three disc collection not only includes a whole nother live CD, it also comes with “Silent Shout: An Audiovisual Experience.” In addition to videos that have already made my nightmares better, it also features the live show that has been compared to everything from the Blue Man Group to the “Silencio” sequence in David Lynch’s “Mullholland Drive.” Thank you Dreijers.

The Knife - Silent Shout | mp3 |

External Links
The Knife
The Knife Myspace
Mute Records

Well, let’s just say a lack of knowledge regarding certain new releases in the world of music is something that we all suffer from, even for us record store employees. I honestly can’t be everywhere at once! So according to the Southern Records website, remastered versions of both The Grey EP and the Sirens are Back full length by Lack of Knowledge was released on May 2nd as the simply titled Grey CD. Well damn, it’s almost the end of June and I didn’t pick up a copy, nor was I aware of the reissue.

If you aren’t familiar with Lack of Knowledge and happen to be a fan of the “death-rock” genre, I suggest checking it out. They formed in 1978 and had a couple of releases on Crass Records. Members Tony Barber and Phil Barker ended up joining the Buzzcocks on the Trade Test Transmissions record back in 1993. I’ve seen this band compared to Joy Division, which some people might find outrageous, but the influence is definitely there. Just imagine the Warsaw demos with a Rudimentary Peni/Christian Death vibe. Believe me, it’s a pretty dark and bleak affair that we have here. Do yourself a favor and seek out a copy of this reissue, you won’t be disappointed.

Lack of Knowledge

Neon Neon just posted their first single, coming out in July on Lex. Entitled “Trick for Treat”, it’s kind of goofy and features Spank Rock, who I like, and Sean Tillman, who I don’t so much. Neon Neon is a collaboration between Boom Bip, an experimental beat maker who has done some beautiful work on albums like “Seed to Sun”, and Gruff Rhys of Super Furry Animals. They are completing an album rumored to tell the life story of John DeLorean, creator of the car immortalized by the “Back to the Future” saga.

External Links
Neon Neon Myspace
Lex Myspace
Lex Records

Photo From Myspace

We here at Relative Theory and The Boot have done a great deal in celebration of this community and Hampton Roads, but alas it seems we’ve forgotten to really honor this great nation we live in. So not to be mistaken for Anti-Federalists, we’re opening The Boot Monday July 2nd (that’s right, Monday) for a special Boot Almost Independence Day Extravaganza! Headlining the festival will be Chris Staples’ (ex-twothirtyeight) appropriately named indie rock act Discover America. Discover America hails from Seattle with cool americana indie-rock with roots in Yo La Tengo, Neil Young, and a little bit of Weezer. They played Relative Theory a year and a half ago and made a great night for the 85 people that came out, so don’t miss your second chance to catch this wonderful act. Traveling with Discover America is Ohio’s State Bird, playing multi-instrumental pop in the vein of Islands and Unicorns. I am yet to experience them live but judging by their myspace I am very excited. More details to come on specific aspects of the extravaganza (will their be prizes? Barbecue? Sno-Cones? Fireworks? Revolutionary War Reenacments? Who knows! We plan last-minute at The Boot!). So clear your monday night plans, because if you don’t show up to this, not only have you missed out, but everyone will know that You, yes you, Hate America.

“The Boot Almost Independence Day Extravaganza! is the best idea to come from Virginia ever! That and the three-cornered hat…we did invent the three cornered hat, right? Man, what a great hat.” -George Washington (not Carver), a Founding Father

The Boot Almost Independence Day Extravaganza!
Monday July 2nd 8PM at The Boot
Discover America (myspace)
State Bird (myspace)
Five Dollars!

External Links
Discover America’s Myspace
Discover America’s Website
Tooth and Nail Records

Internal Links
Review of Discover America’s Psychology

Staten Island Afro Soul on Daptone from the same funky melting pot of cool, hyperskilled professionals that brought us Antibalas and the Sugarman Three. Need I say more? New record comes out in July, check out the mp3 for “Chicago Falcon”.

The Budos Band - Chicago Falcon | mp3 |

External Links
The Budos Band
The Budos Band Myspace
Daptone Myspace
Daptone Records

Tuesday brings the release of what looks to me like one of the most interesting releases of 2007. Stone’s Throw has a knack for teaming up with great, unexpected artists (Gary Wilson, Galt McDermott, etc.) to present wonderful new projects. Now, three percussionists from Chicago experimentalists Tortoise are releasing a concept breaks record called “Bumps,” which promises to push the boundaries of traditional beat collections with influences from all over the world. One of the collaborators is producer/player John McEntire, who has also produced Stereolab and “Security,” the recent album by Antibalas, in which Afrobeat met modern progressive production and had a pensive, pulsing party. Suffice it to say I’m eager to hear what “Bumps” is going to sound like. If you’re curious as to what Tortoise sounds like, I recommend making it to the current Relative location before it closes at the end of the month and seeing if they still have the “A Lazarus Taxon” collection. 3 CDs and a DVD for $20? What a bargain!

External Links
Bumps
Tortoise
Tortoise Myspace
Stone’s Throw Myspace
Stone’s Throw Records

Dear Friends and Lovers,

Today we sincerely announce the indefinite slumber of your record store Relative Theory Records, 271 Granby St. - Norfolk, Virginia 23510. It is not sustainable for we must let it go. During this time we shall reside on the interweb while we assess this cultural climate and search for a new home. We will maintain our website and continue to send out our weekly new music email newsletter while continuing the sale of goods via our Relative Web Store. We hope this will suffice in our physical absence. We will be making improvements to our webstore in addition to making our community develop with a stronger local focus. We will also continue to bring the best in new music to perform live at the Boot as well as nurture the growing talent of our city. Our ideas are of a natural progression and we will continue to aid the unheard. Thank you to all those who gave their support the past four years.

June 30 - the COMA begins.

Thoughts and questions can be posted in the comments OR emailed to info@whatisrelative.com.

Tomorrow Night (Wednesday), we have one of those shows happening where in two years we’ll all be standing around amazed that when we landed it it wasn’t that big of a deal. Chris Garneau plays airy nighttime piano songs that catch you breathing slowly and soaking in the beautiful silent Earth, with a falsetto similarly reminiscent to Sufjan Stevens and Elliott Smith. He recently put out a full length of warm and soft-spoken elegance called Music for Tourists on Absolutely Kosher Records (Frog Eyes, The Wrens, Pinback, Xiu Xiu). As billed, locals {}[]{} are opening with their gentle folk a la Great Lake Swimmers. And as a last-minute announcement Lacrymosa’s Caitlin Pasko will be playing her ethereal brand of syncopated piano songs for fans of Marissa Nadler and Regina Spektor. This is a show loaded with talent and people who are doing great things and going great places with their music, so come be apart of exciting things happening in Hampton Roads. Let’s all make this a great night.

The Boot
Wednesday, June 13, 9PM $5
Chris Garneau Myspace
{}[]{} Myspace
Caitlin Pasko Myspace

Pictured is Klaxar, twentysomething space warlock from the past. He will be hosting a strange, vulgar, and beautiful comedy show at the Boot tonight at 10. Expect sketches, interactive business with the audience, and a special presentation of “Zardoz” starring Sean Connery, complete with live comedic commentary a la Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Imagine that, a cheap movie where you are encouraged to drink beer and yell at the screen. Its like Europe or something, brah. Who knows, even I may stop by to rock a mic. Bring yr belly because that’s the part of you that’s going to laugh. And get stuffed by delicious Italian cuisine and the finest brews in Virginia. Yr belly’s going to be busy tonight.

External Links
Klaxar Myspace
Klaxar in Port Folio

Internal Links
The Boot

FRIDAY JUNE 8th AT THE BOOT
10 PM / $5

Locksley is coming | myspace

throwback Beatles or maybe Tommy James, Locksley is one of Relative’s favorites and I will say their live show is an energetic buzz. Not to mention their charming personalities will get you going like nobody’s business. Little known fact - the only time a guy wishes he was a 15 year old girl is when two guys sing into the same microphone. It’s true. Well actually there is another time but this update is about music! Come on out and enjoy these fancy heart throbs!

Why Can’t I Be You | video
She Does | video
they are stupid | video

A month ago Frog Eyes dropped a new record called Tears of the Valedictorian, and I’m not sure how anybody else at Relative feels about it but it’s found it’s way back to my cd player like a bad habit almost everyday since its release. Carey Mercer leads the group (which includes his wife on drums and Wolf Parade/Sunset Rubdown’s Spencer Krug on keys) in a frenetic indie-pop that builds on the styles of Modest Mouse, The Pixies, and Captain Beefheart. Mercer’s voice is as frantic and unstable as the pounding melodies it accompanies, and once I got used to it I was awed by the intensity of energy and sincerity of songwriting. The last standard song of the album, “Bushels,” is nine minutes long, amazingly varied, and in the running for my favorite song of the year. Give it a listen below and check out this album.

Frog Eyes - Bushels

External Links
Frog Eyes Website
Frog Eyes Myspace
Absolutely Kosher Records

Internal Links
Swan Lake Post
Review of Swan Lake’s Beast Moans

The good people of Soul Jazz have taken a break from digging up and compiling the best of the old to look forward with a compilation of brand new Future Dub and Dubstep. Entitled “Box of Dub,” it includes contributions from artists such as Burial, Digital Mystikz, and Kode 9. Not only do they move beyond traditional spelling, they move beyond roots in the Grime and Garage scenes of the UK, while owing a debt to the original digital dub specialists of Jamaica such as Scientist and King Jammy.

Various Artists - Box of Dub | Audio Samples |

External Links
Soul Jazz Records

Internal Links
Dubstep

For real though.

Since I have a hard time enjoying most current acts that fall under the category of “indie rock,” you can imagine how stoked I was to hear that Seaweed plan to reunite for a show in the fall and they are recording demos for a new album.

For those who aren’t familiar, Seaweed formed in Tacoma, WA in the late 1980s. They were soon picked up by Sub Pop Records and put out a few releases, with 1993’s Four, being the best one of that era, in my opinion. A major label subsidiary, Hollywood Records, signed them in 1995 and released Spanaway that same year. They were dropped and reappeared on Merge Records in 1999, with Actions and Indications. Almost shortly after, Seaweed broke up.

Some critics say they were too “punk” for the grunge crowd, but were also missing a good amount of leather and studs to entertain west coast circle pit crews. On their earlier recordings it seemed they were conjuring up the ghosts of melodic Washington D.C. hardcore in their Northwest basements, while managing to be somewhat similar to groups like Down By Law, Big Drill Car, and All. It wasn’t until 1993’s Four, when things started to change and Seaweed was creating a sound that would soon be ripped off by many in the post-hardcore world.

Here are some links of interest:
Myspace site
Video for “Kid Candy”